[WRITTEN AUGUST 1986. MY FIRST TIME TRAVELLING TO THE BIG SMOKE TO SEE THE DAMNED. DON’T KNOW WHY WE BOUGHT LOADS OF FAKE BLOOD, BUT LOADS OF PEOPLE THOUGHT IT WAS REAL AND KEPT WELL AWAY FROM US! I REMEMBER A COUPLE OF GIRLS LOOKING LIKE THEY WERE GONNA BE SICK WHEN I POURED SOME FROM THE BOTTLE ONTO SOME GUYS FACE! AND THE AIR-HORN WAS MUCH FUN TOO! WE THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE LIKE THE SHEPPERTON GIG (COULDN’T FIND THE “DUCK QUACKER” SHOP, SO AN AIR HORN WAS NEXT BEST THING). AS IT TURNED OUT, NO-ONE ELSE HAD TAKEN ANY NOISE-MAKING DEVICES. SO ALL WHISTLES AND AIR-HORN SOUNDS WERE DOWN TO US! IT WAS ESPECIALLY GOOD WHEN IT WAS ALMOST RUN OUT AND  A BIG WHITE CLOUD OF CHEMICAL CAME OUT,  CHOKING EVERYONE IN THE VICINITY! I EVEN GOT ON TV!! FUCKING GREAT GIG THOUGH, STILL HAVE VERY FOND MEMORIES OF IT. GOD, IT WAS HOT! DAVE 2011]

We arrived in London the day before the gig so we could do some shopping and have a look around. What we actually did was walk up and down Oxford St. about 400 times. All was not wasted however as I found this tiny little record shop and managed to get a Damned Damned Damned with the Hot Rods pic for only £15. I couldn’t help laughing as I handed over the dosh, especially as it was in near mint condition!

The next day, after recovering from our walks up and down Oxford St. we made our way to the Town & Country Club (after we’d picked up the essential things like loads of fake blood, an air-horn and luminous face make-up!). We arrived thinking there’d be loads of people about. It turned out there were only two! Both got sold a fanzine of course!

As we waited outside the door, more and more people gradually arrived, each one being sold a zine until everyone around me was sitting reading them. Luckily no-one thought it was crap and tried to beat me up.

I got talking to a few folk (hi Rich!) and found out that I wasn’t the only one that had to wait ages for the tickets. They took so long that I thought I wasn’t gonna get any which worried me greatly.

After waiting around for a while, me and one of my friends decided to go round to the stage door and wait for the band to appear. A few other people appeared after a while (but luckily not many), and eventually a car pulled up containing Rat Scabies and Bryn “I’m not fat at all” Merrick. I gave them both a copy of the zine, to which Rat replied “Och aye the noo”… English bastard!! Bryn looked as if he didn’t know what the hell I was going on about… but took it anyway. Loads of people were getting my zine autographed which I thought was really funny. Meanwhile I was getting them to sign the back of my t-shirt (which has had to remain unwashed ever since!).

Everyone piled into the venue and we got in for about ten minutes before being told that we’d get back in after half an hour.

So, half an hour we waited and amazingly we were actually let in. It turned out that Dave and Roman were already in the place. Everyone made straight for the stage and clambered up to meet the band. I gave Dave and Roman a copy of the zine and had a great laugh trying to make Roman pay for it. “I’ve got no money ‘guv” he said… bloody liar!!

Anyway, I let him off in return for him signing my t-shirt and loads of other things. Dave was next and he seemed very interested in the fanzine, commenting on how he still had the same sunglasses that he’s wearing on the front cover. He too was made to sign my t-shirt. After a while we were all thrown off the stage so the Damned could get on with their soundcheck. It was really strange watching them play live right in front of you, with only about 15 other people alongside. Street Of Dreams was played about five times, while a great version of Neat Neat Neat was done, Bryn playing it really slowly and the others joining in. Excerpts of the Turkey Song and even Spirit In The Sky were played to everyone’s amusement. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde was played a few times, and a good version of Fan Club was done. One Of The Two was also played, though it wasn’t done at the actual gig… pity ‘cos it was dead good. A few other things were also done, but I’ve got a bad memory and can’t remember them. Aha, I’ve remembered another one… Anything Is Better Than This, which was the first time I’ve ever heard it. I recognised the tune from somewhere though… Iggy Pop’s Five Foot One.

When the band finished the soundcheck they spent ages talking to folk and signing things, which I thought was really good of them. Rat was asked whether any past members were playing. I was disappointed to hear that no-one would be playing, but he promised that Captain and Brian James would play on the Saturday at Finsbury Park (it turns out that he was wrong as you’ll see in the Finsbury review).

Dave and Roman’s wives were there too, as well as Roman’s kid Jake. Rat said something about wondering whether Jake’s nose would “be like ‘is old man” to which I said “I wonder if he’ll have a nose like yours” not realising exactly how dubious a comment that was!!

It was difficult deciding who to talk to next, all of them were equally approachable. I was trying to get as many things as I could autographed, and even got Rat to sign a rubber rat I’d brought specially. As usual I forgot all the questions I always mean to ask. One day I’ll remember though.

After much signing and talking, they all went away to prepare for the gig. Still hardly believing that I’d managed to get in to the soundcheck, I went outside with my pal to be greeted by an amazing sight… a pavement packed full with Damned people. I met up with one of my other friends who has an incredible habit of not meeting the band and told him about all the events that had just happened. He did his best to look not bothered… but it didn’t work very well.

Since there was now a good crowd, I got down to the task of floggin’ the zines. It proved to be no trouble ‘cos everyone was really decent and they were all real fans. Only a few people seemed to be “I thought Eloise was their first single?” Damned fans… thank god.

After a while the door was semi-opened, then closed again. This happened a few times until eventually we were all let in. The whole ticket was taken off me at the door, which pissed me off ‘cos mine was autographed. Some lucky bastard will have it now. I had hoped that maybe a free single might be given away, but no such luck. A badge was as much as we were gonna get. It’s better than nothing though.

I was glad to see that the place had a cloakroom, so after buying everything that was on sale I dumped it all in there.

The front of the stage was packed by now so I made my way down to the dancefloor bit. I managed to find a few of my pals so waited with them for the band to come on.

Some of the chants that got started before the Damned came on were brilliant. Various anti-BBC ones were done… “I ain’t paid my licence fee” and “the producer is a wanker”!!!

Eventually, the figure of Rat Scabies appeared behind his drum kit. When the intro to New Rose started up I couldn’t believe it… that is the one song I never thought they’d come in with in a million years.

Everyone went fucking mental throughout the whole song, the entire place seeming to know the words. Fan Club was next, which was dedicated to “you lot”.

When Neat Neat Neat was done, the crowd again went mad. You didn’t even have to make any effort to jump up and down… you just had to stand there and as everyone else jumped about, you’d follow – great fun guv’nor!

Even when Love Song was played I didn’t realise they were playing the songs in chronological order. I was too busy concentrating on not getting trampled to death.

The beginning to Smash It Up got the biggest cheer of the gig, and everyone managed to jump up and down in time to the “fast” bit of Part One. Part Two saw the crowd basically go totally bloody crazy. When it came to the drum roll in the middle though, Rat played it as if it was the end of the song… in other words fucking it up! “Oh dear” said Vanian as Bryn, Roman and the whole crowd laughed at poor old Ratty. He couldn’t help it, after all he’s getting old!!! They managed to get it going again though, and finished it without making any more mistakes.

I Just Can’t Be Happy Today was next and it seemed to be one of the crowd’s favourites too. That prick “Shirley” fucked up the keyboards at the start of it though

The two 1980-era Damned songs done were Wait For The Blackout and a class Dr. Jekyll and Mr.Hyde. Both had everyone singing along.

Disco Man and Limit Club were the next two up. Disco Man in particular was really good. There wasn’t really much crowd reaction to The Limit Club which is a pity ‘cos it’s bloody good.

It was time for Strawberries Damned now. A brilliant Ignite had everyone joining in with the chorus as they usually do.

Grimly Fiendish, Is It A Dream and Street Of Dreams were the ’85 songs done, and these were followed by a terrible version of Eloise and two new songs… Anything Is Better Than This and LA Woman.

Throughout the gig people were getting on stage. I don’t think a song went by without someone getting up. These included some mental people, including one guy who wouldn’t get off until he’d shown everyone how big his muscles were!!!

After the new ones it was Rat’s turn to have a go of the guitar. A “version” of Burglar was done, with hardly any vocals due to the fact that Rat couldn’t remember them. “Na na na na na na” was about all he could muster! Pretty Vacant on the other hand was actually quite good! Rat managed to play it properly on guitar and Roman managed the drumming. After this they went off and the gig was over.

Everyone pushed their way slowly out of the place and spilled onto the pavement outside. The passers-by had a good stare at the crowd of “nasty punk rockers” who looked like they’d just spent nearly an hour and a half jumping about. I waited by the stage door for a while for the band to come out, but eventually I left to get the last tubes. I didn’t really fancy being stranded in London.

For once I wasn’t bothered about the gig being over ‘cos there was still Finsbury Park to look forward to. And though I didn’t know it at the time, that was going to be even better than the Flashgig.

Some of the songs in this review may be a bit mixed up as I had to do it all from (bad) memory. This is ‘cos a certain person still ain’t sent my tape of it… that means YOU Phoenix!  [I got it in the end!!]

The author (I'M ON TV! I'M ON TV!) and Dave Vanian.

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