[WRITTEN AUGUST 1986. MY FIRST TIME TRAVELLING TO THE
BIG SMOKE TO SEE THE DAMNED. DON’T KNOW WHY WE BOUGHT LOADS OF FAKE BLOOD, BUT
LOADS OF PEOPLE THOUGHT IT WAS REAL AND KEPT WELL AWAY FROM US! I REMEMBER A
COUPLE OF GIRLS LOOKING LIKE THEY WERE GONNA BE SICK WHEN I POURED SOME FROM THE
BOTTLE ONTO SOME GUYS FACE! AND THE AIR-HORN WAS MUCH FUN TOO! WE THOUGHT IT WAS
GONNA BE LIKE THE SHEPPERTON GIG (COULDN’T FIND THE “DUCK QUACKER” SHOP,
SO AN AIR HORN WAS NEXT BEST THING). AS IT TURNED OUT, NO-ONE ELSE HAD TAKEN ANY
NOISE-MAKING DEVICES. SO ALL WHISTLES AND AIR-HORN SOUNDS WERE DOWN TO US! IT
WAS ESPECIALLY GOOD WHEN IT WAS ALMOST RUN OUT AND A BIG WHITE CLOUD OF CHEMICAL
CAME OUT, CHOKING EVERYONE IN THE
VICINITY! I EVEN GOT ON TV!! FUCKING GREAT GIG THOUGH, STILL HAVE VERY FOND
MEMORIES OF IT. GOD, IT WAS HOT! DAVE 2011]
We arrived in London the day before the gig so we could do some shopping and have a look around. What we actually did was walk up and down Oxford St. about 400 times. All was not wasted however as I found this tiny little record shop and managed to get a Damned Damned Damned with the Hot Rods pic for only £15. I couldn’t help laughing as I handed over the dosh, especially as it was in near mint condition!
The
next day, after recovering from our walks up and down Oxford St. we made our way
to the Town & Country Club (after we’d picked up the essential things like
loads of fake blood, an air-horn and luminous face make-up!). We arrived
thinking there’d be loads of people about. It turned out there were only two!
Both got sold a fanzine of course!
As
we waited outside the door, more and more people gradually arrived, each one
being sold a zine until everyone around me was sitting reading them. Luckily
no-one thought it was crap and tried to beat me up.
I
got talking to a few folk (hi Rich!) and found out that I wasn’t the only one
that had to wait ages for the tickets. They took so long that I thought I
wasn’t gonna get any which worried me greatly.
After
waiting around for a while, me and one of my friends decided to go round to the
stage door and wait for the band to appear. A few other people appeared after a
while (but luckily not many), and eventually a car pulled up containing Rat
Scabies and Bryn “I’m not fat at all” Merrick. I gave them both a copy of
the zine, to which Rat replied “Och aye the noo”… English bastard!! Bryn
looked as if he didn’t know what the hell I was going on about… but took it
anyway. Loads of people were getting my zine autographed which I thought was
really funny. Meanwhile I was getting them to sign the back of my t-shirt (which
has had to remain unwashed ever since!).
Everyone
piled into the venue and we got in for about ten minutes before being told that
we’d get back in after half an hour.
So,
half an hour we waited and amazingly we were actually let in. It turned out that
Dave and Roman were already in the place. Everyone made straight for the stage
and clambered up to meet the band. I gave Dave and Roman a copy of the zine and
had a great laugh trying to make Roman pay for it. “I’ve got no money
‘guv” he said… bloody liar!!
Anyway,
I let him off in return for him signing my t-shirt and loads of other things.
Dave was next and he seemed very interested in the fanzine, commenting on how he
still had the same sunglasses that he’s wearing on the front cover. He too was
made to sign my t-shirt. After a while we were all thrown off the stage so the
Damned could get on with their soundcheck. It was really strange watching them
play live right in front of
you, with only about 15 other people alongside. Street Of Dreams was played
about five times, while a great version of Neat Neat Neat was done, Bryn playing
it really slowly and the others joining in. Excerpts of the Turkey Song and even
Spirit In The Sky were played to everyone’s amusement. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
was played a few times, and a good version of Fan Club was done. One Of The Two
was also played, though it wasn’t done at the actual gig… pity ‘cos it was
dead good. A few other things were also done, but I’ve got a bad memory and
can’t remember them. Aha, I’ve remembered another one… Anything Is Better
Than This, which was the first time I’ve ever heard it. I recognised the tune
from somewhere though… Iggy Pop’s Five Foot One.
When
the band finished the soundcheck they spent ages talking to folk and signing
things, which I thought was really good of them. Rat was asked whether any past
members were playing. I was disappointed to hear that no-one would be playing,
but he promised that Captain and Brian James would play on the Saturday at
Finsbury Park (it turns out that he was wrong as you’ll see in the Finsbury
review).
Dave
and Roman’s wives were there too, as well as Roman’s kid Jake. Rat said
something about wondering whether Jake’s nose would “be like ‘is old
man” to which I said “I wonder if he’ll have a nose like yours” not
realising exactly how dubious a comment that was!!
It
was difficult deciding who to talk to next, all of them were equally
approachable. I was trying to get as many things as I could autographed, and
even got Rat to sign a rubber rat I’d brought specially. As usual I forgot all
the questions I always mean to ask. One day I’ll remember though.
After
much signing and talking, they all went away to prepare for the gig. Still
hardly believing that I’d managed to get in to the soundcheck, I went outside
with my pal to be greeted by an amazing sight… a pavement packed full with
Damned people. I met up with one of my other friends
who has an incredible habit of not meeting the band and told him about
all the events that had just happened. He did his best to look not bothered…
but it didn’t work very well.
Since
there was now a good crowd, I got down to the task of floggin’ the zines. It
proved to be no trouble ‘cos everyone was really decent and they were all real
fans. Only a few people seemed to be “I thought Eloise was their first
single?” Damned fans… thank god.
After
a while the door was semi-opened, then closed again. This happened a few times
until eventually we were all let in. The whole ticket was taken off me at the
door, which pissed me off ‘cos mine was autographed. Some lucky bastard will
have it now. I had hoped that maybe a free single might be given away, but no
such luck. A badge was as much as we were gonna get. It’s better than nothing
though.
I
was glad to see that the place had a cloakroom, so after buying everything that
was on sale I dumped it all in there.
The
front of the stage was packed by now so I made my way down to the dancefloor
bit. I managed to find a few of my pals so waited with them for the band to come
on.
Some
of the chants that got started before the Damned came on were brilliant. Various
anti-BBC ones were done… “I ain’t paid my licence
fee” and “the producer is a wanker”!!!
Eventually,
the figure of Rat Scabies appeared behind his drum kit. When the intro to New
Rose started up I couldn’t believe it… that is the one song I never thought
they’d come in with in a million years.
Everyone
went fucking mental throughout the whole song, the entire place seeming to know
the words. Fan Club was next, which was dedicated to “you lot”.
When
Neat Neat Neat was done, the crowd again went mad. You didn’t even have to
make any effort to jump up and down… you just had to stand there and as
everyone else jumped about, you’d follow – great fun guv’nor!
Even
when Love Song was played I didn’t realise they were playing the songs in
chronological order. I was too busy concentrating on not getting trampled to
death.
The
beginning to Smash It Up got the biggest cheer of the gig, and everyone managed
to jump up and down in time to the “fast” bit of Part One. Part Two saw the
crowd basically go totally bloody crazy. When it came to the drum roll in the
middle though, Rat played it as if it was the end of the song… in other words
fucking it up! “Oh dear” said Vanian as Bryn, Roman and the whole crowd
laughed at poor old Ratty. He couldn’t help it, after all he’s getting
old!!! They managed to get it going again though, and finished it without making
any more mistakes.
I
Just Can’t Be Happy Today was next and it seemed to be one of the crowd’s
favourites too. That prick “Shirley” fucked up the keyboards at the start of
it though
The
two 1980-era Damned songs done were Wait For The Blackout and a class Dr. Jekyll
and Mr.Hyde. Both had everyone singing along.
Disco
Man and Limit Club were the next two up. Disco Man in particular was really
good. There wasn’t really much crowd reaction to The Limit Club which is a
pity ‘cos it’s bloody good.
It
was time for Strawberries Damned now. A brilliant Ignite had everyone joining in
with the chorus as they usually do.
Grimly
Fiendish, Is It A Dream and Street Of Dreams were the ’85 songs done, and
these were followed by a terrible version of Eloise and two new songs…
Anything Is Better Than This and LA Woman.
Throughout
the gig people were getting on stage. I don’t think a song went by without
someone getting up. These included some mental people, including one guy who
wouldn’t get off until he’d shown everyone how big his muscles were!!!
After
the new ones it was Rat’s turn to have a go of the guitar. A “version” of
Burglar was done, with hardly any vocals due to the fact that Rat couldn’t
remember them. “Na na na na na na” was about all he could muster! Pretty
Vacant on the other hand was actually quite good! Rat managed to play it
properly on guitar and Roman managed the drumming. After this they went off and
the gig was over.
Everyone
pushed their way slowly out of the place and spilled onto the pavement outside.
The passers-by had a good stare at the crowd of “nasty punk rockers” who
looked like they’d just spent nearly an hour and a half jumping about. I
waited by the stage door for a while for the band to come out, but eventually I
left to get the last tubes. I didn’t really fancy being stranded in London.
For
once I wasn’t bothered about the gig being over ‘cos there was still
Finsbury Park to look forward to. And though I didn’t know it at the time,
that was going to be even better than the Flashgig.
Some of the songs in this review may be a bit mixed up as I had to do it all from (bad) memory. This is ‘cos a certain person still ain’t sent my tape of it… that means YOU Phoenix! [I got it in the end!!]
The author (I'M ON TV! I'M ON TV!) and Dave Vanian.